Don't Shout at Tea, It Talks Back.

So, if you’ve been on the internet at all since Friday, you’ve probably seen #SueYoureShoutingAtTea trending.

Image result for sue you're shouting at tea

Saying that, I didn’t even know anything about it until today, I really should get Twitter, like. BUT, in my defence, us Irish ones don’t care much for Yorkshire tea when we’ve got proper Irish stuff like Nambarrie and Punjana to keep us going. Just saying.

Anyway, here’s a lil summary to keep y’all in the loop:On Friday, Rishi Sunak (a baddie tory ) posted a photo of himself (the vanity) with a massive bag of Yorkshire tea on Twitter. A lot of people obviously thought that this was a paid partnership or advertisement of some sort – which, is a bit ridiculous when you think about it, I mean, who would pay to be associated with that party? No harm, like.

Image

So, in true Twitter fashion, users pretty much ripped into Yorkshire Tea, threatening to boycott them and calling them all sorts. Must be pretty scundering that you’ve got the opposite of Midas touch and people will boycott something as serious as tea brands just because you use ’em. And brands are actively trying to disassociate from you. Take a hint, lads.  

Even though Yorkshire Tea actually came out at the weekend and said that it was nothing to do with them. One woman in particular was having NONE of it, behold, the star of the show: Sue. Spoiler alert: Yes, it was her who shouted at tea. Let’s take a look at what she said. Enjoy.

So, how did Yorkshire Tea respond to all this negative criticism? With a well thought out, articulate public announcement, of course. Ahem:

Twitter pretty much went nuts over this, hence the trending hashtag. Someone jokingly said they should make t-shirts with a “Sue, you’re shouting at tea” slogan, which of course, someone did. If Forever 21 was still around, you can BET they’d be stocking ’em. 

Yorkshire Tea’s response got a hell of a lot more attention than the original post by Rishi Sunak did, and it got people talking about something else other than the whole right-wing-association thing, AND didn’t just “restore” attitudes towards the brand, it improved them. I personally always assumed they were a bit of a boring brand, because well, look at the box. Plus, look who uses them, just saying. But, now, they seem a lot more interesting. I’m still not gonna buy their teabags like, but still, fair play lads.

Image result for not bad gif

As with EVERYTHING, some people aren’t happy with how Yorkshire Tea handled it. They said that they’ve pretty much humiliated Sue and made her a laughing stock on the internet. Thousands of people have seen the tweets are basically taking the mickey (keepin’ it PG [Tips]) out of her. She’s pretty much been scundered in front of thousands. 

I know she called them out, so they can call her out back, but, at the end of the day, she’s one person, and they’re a major brand. They’re more cut out for bad press than she is. Saying that, Yorkshire Tea, no matter how good their PR team is, probably didn’t think the tweet would go as viral as it did. And, at least her display photo (I don’t even know if that’s what they’re called on Twitter but O well) wasn’t even her. 

Image result for hiding gif
Probably Sue right now

But, all funny tweets and tea-shirts (ha ha) aside, it highlights a problem for brands.  What happens when someone who a lot of people hate likes or uses your brand?  At the end of the day, you can’t stop people posting photos of your products and “promoting” your brand, even if you would rather they bought from your competitors instead.

Regardless of any bad press, I think it’s safe to say that Yorkshire Tea more than recovered from the lil Tory blip. So, what does all this teach PR and social media managers about crisis management? A witty tweet can do a hell of a lot more than a press release, apology, official statement and Labour-inspired photoshoot combined. 

Klarna: What's the Cost of "Interest-free"?

We all know students are pretty skint most of the time, so when I see ASOS, Pretty Little Thing and Missguided parcels constantly being delivered to my house, you can probably see why I might think “amm, where the HELL are you getting all this money from?”

Image result for online shopping gif

Then comes a wee envelope in the post from Klarna. *ding* And it all makes sense.

Y’all probably know what Klarna is anyway, but if you don’t, it’s basically a payment service company thing (to be exact) that lets you buy things now, and pay later. But, you don’t have to pay any fees or interest unlike most credit payment company things. I should’ve written their marketing material, I know. 

So, you can see why it’s become insanely popular recently (even though Sweden’s been using it for like 15 years). It’s obviously really handy for emergency purchases when you genuinely can’t afford to pay upfront, or if you can’t afford to pay back with interest.

Image result for klarna

But, I don’t know, I’m not really sure I like the whole idea. Yeah, LoOk aT mE being contrary, wouldn’t be like me!!! But hear me out, read me out, whatever.

A couple of Klarna’s wee tag lines are:
“Buy what you want, when you want”
“Shopping the way it should be – effortless, safe and fun”.

See, the thing is, I know it seems like it’s for people who are short on cash and NEED something, but if you look at the major retailers who support Klarna – and if you look at their website, the whole thing’s pretty much targeted at people who want to buy clothes online. 

Image result for online shopping gif

I know that Klarna is obviously a hell of a lot better than those payday loan companies that charge you like 800% APR and get people into a massive cycle of debt. But, it still encourages the same behaviour. It encourages people to just go “ooh sparkly top, click click, mine” (in the very sophisticated manner that we speak in) without worrying about how much it actually costs. Or how they’re actually going to afford it.

I’m not saying that people who can’t afford clothes right now shouldn’t be able to buy them; but my guess is a lot of people that use Klarna are students and other people who aren’t exactly minted, but still want nice things. I just don’t like the whole idea of encouraging people – who mightn’t be able to afford to – to live above their means and normalising “not worrying about the price”. 
Normally, a big obstacle to you buying clothes when you really shouldn’t or can’t, is that, well, you can’t. But now, you can. 

Image result for money is no object gif

You won’t just use Klarna as a “one off”, let’s be real, you’ll just start using it more and more often. Then, have the dolla taken out of your account on payday or at 3 different stages sometime in the future. But, “that’s future me’s problem”, although it’s pretty much my mantra in life, isn’t a healthy attitude to have when it comes to spending.

“Buy now, pay later” things are great when you need something, or even if you just want something, like yasss treat yourself, live your best life. But, I don’t think it’s great to promote this attitude and behaviour as something we should do for all our purchases. Especially things like online clothes shopping. Just because you “want” something, doesn’t necessarily mean you should get it. 

I know there’s no debt involved, but it still normalises debt-inducing (? I’m gonna roll with it) behaviour. Having a care-free attitude to money is just dangerous for people who aren’t that good at budgeting, saving or saying no to “40% off”. It’s fine if you’re good and responsible with money, but what if you aren’t?

Image result for im broke gif

Yeah, you got £200s worth of clothes and didn’t have to spend a penny. YET. What happens in 2 weeks when that £200 plus your pair-of-boots-money and your new-fluffy-jacket-money are all coming out, and oh look, the gas is running out, or, the landlord’s coming for rent. What then? The money is still coming out, and not necessarily when you’re in a better position. You know what you have right now, and you might know what you’ll have next week or after payday. But, life does this beautiful thing called “MESSIN WITH US” and throws all kinds of spanners in all of our works. 

“Oh, I forgot I bought that”. “Okay OOPS I didn’t realise I spent THAT much”. “Have I still not paid that off”. Having small bite-size payments or delayed ones just means people will get a false sense of security of what’s actually theirs and what they owe. Let’s be real, they’ll forget they’ve scheduled payments coming out until it’s too late.

Image result for credit card bill gif

Lemme just clarify: The problem isn’t Klarna, and it’s not “buy now, pay later” (and it’s not me either before you get smart). The problem is promoting this “make it rain” attitude, when you’ve got no water.

Under Pressure

I hope you read that in the tune of the ‘Queen’ song. If you didn’t, go back and try again.

Cheers.

Image result for under pressure gif
You better look like this.

ANYWAY. Final year is a pretty pressure-filled year.

Exams. Assignments. Dissertations. Trying to get the most out of your student discount before it runs out. Not to mention the constant STRIKES.

Then, once you get past all that, there’s the ~small~ issue of trying to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life and actually get a job. Agh.

Image result for getting a job gif

We have so much to be doing, and we’re stretched pretty thin as is. The last thing we need is people pressuring us to apply for jobs.

“Uni should be your main concern”, but “you need to apply for jobs while you’re still at uni.” “It’s important to look after yourself and wind down in your spare time”, but, “in your spare time you should be writing CVs, cover letters, applications, interviews, psychometric tests and assessment centres”.

Great.

Image result for woman equations meme
“If 1 USD = 2 GBP, how many Yen can you get with 5 EUR?”

A lot of people might want to join grad schemes, fair enough if they do. But, I think a good amount of students apply for grad schemes because they feel pressured to get a job sorted ASAP and start work like the day after graduation. Being realistic, we’re going to be working until we’re 75 at this rate (if we’re still around like, @global warming). So, what difference does it make if we start in July, or December?

Why is there so much pressure to jump straight into the job market, which is a mess anyway? Thanks again, boomers. Once you start working, it’s pretty hard to stop. It’s not as easy to take a ‘career break’ and head away off to Canada for a year, as it is to head away off BEFORE you start working. Get it out of your system and then settle down to serve capitalism for the rest of your life. Dream big.

Image result for working forever gif
“3 more years til I qualify for state pension”

Apparently the average millennial has 14 jobs in their lives, and the way “careers” work is changing. It’s no longer the norm to start a job after you graduate and stay in it for 35 years. People move about. People have several jobs in several years. And that’s okay. Nothing stands still. We’re always told how “fast-paced” and “dynamic” the world is these days, so why should we be expected to stand still and stay in the same job forever?

The reason people might leave a job after like 6 months or a year might be because they haven’t a notion what they actually want to do, but this sure as hell isn’t it. Maybe if they spent a bit of time thinking about it and figuring it out after they graduated, they’d go into a job they actually wanted and liked and stay there for a bit longer. I think it’s better to wait a bit until you actually have a baldy what you want to apply for, rather than applying for the sake of being employed, and then being unemployed again pretty soon after because you hate your job.

So, being honest (my strong suit), chances are whatever job we start after graduation, we’re gonna quit eventually. I know, that’s the spirit, Niamh! Positive thinking!

Image result for good vibes gif

I just don’t get why university’s pressure you to get a job ASAP when you’re going to be working for like the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Can we not have a bit of fun before we do the whole 9-5 thing? What about holidays, travelling, and just having a geg in general?

I know we’re told that good jobs get snapped up pretty quickly. But, like, there’s always new jobs? Someone will quit their job (or be sacked), someone will get pregnant and go on maternity leave, someone better will go on paternity leave (like he goddamn SHOULD), and someone will retire. Someone else will take a career break and head to Benidorm for a few years, or maybe they’ll win the lotto (even though we know that’s fake). So, JOBS WILL COME UP. There will always be MORE JOBS.

It’s not like placement where you have a tiny window of when you can work, when you start a job and how many months you have to work there for. In final year, your window is like 40 YEARS BIG.

Image result for plenty of time gif
I am Daniel, y’all are Betty

I’m personally a big believer in crossing bridges when I get to ‘em. So I think that applying for graduate jobs once you’re, well, an actual graduate makes sense. No point boasting about what you MIGHT get, why not boast about what you DID get?

Plus, spending hours and hours on applications etc instead of that time on your dissertation?  No thank YOU. What if you go travelling for a couple of months and ‘find yourself’ in Thailand (standard) or have an epiphany of what you want to do? Doesn’t taking some time to figure it out make more sense than blindly applying for jobs?

Then again, this is just a big justification for me not applying for anything. I think I’ve successfully convinced myself, even if I didn’t convince you.

Ryanair Offers Lies to Consumers – At No Extra Charge

Every now and then, Ryanair do something to melt people. There was changing the cabin bag policy so you now have to pay to be ‘priority’ to get anything bigger than a lunch bag on board. Then, they added the small text to “check-in 60 days before your flight for peace of mind” saying *if you pay extra, else, you can wait til 48 hours before. And let’s not forget the time they tried to charge for toilets. Bloons. 

But now, to put the icing on the cake – oh, that’ll be extra, sorry. They’ve been called out for Greenwashing. Honestly, like.

Image result for ryanair carbon emission ads

You’ve probably heard or seen the ads, where Ryanair claim to have ” the lowest carbon emissions of any major airline”, and the tagline of “Europe’s lowest fares, lowest emissions airline”. Yeah, I was suspicious too. I thought, “hmm, that’s not like Ryanair to actually have something GOOD to say? but, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe all those extra charges paid for some better petrol or something.

But, nope. I was wrong. Well, I was wrong to believe it, but I was right to be suspicious. Because, well, let’s face it, I’m never wrong. Pffft. 

But, today came the news that the spoil-sports our dear friends, the ASA, banned the ads because they weren’t actually accurate or provable. Basically, they were lies. 

Image result for ryanair carbon emission ads"
Behold, propaganda an ad

The story kinda changes depending on which news source you use. Shock. The first one I read made it sound like Ryanair were actually telling the truth, because they compared their emissions to “four other large European airlines”. Whereas, the good old Guardian added a lil extra detail, that they “didn’t include some well-known airlines”.

So, I’m going to do y’all a favour and be the dependable news source that you know I am. First, let’s clarify a few things:

 1. “Lowest carbon emissions of any major airline”  means “lower than a couple”  

 2.  “Major airline” isn’t actually like a specific or agreed term. I mean, they probably ALL think they’re pretty major. And totally awesome.  

3. “Low CO2” means, “lower than average”

4. These CO2 emissions weren’t measured by the amount of CO2 emitted, but the “CO2 emissions per passenger, per kilometre“. Ryanair have less CO2 emissions per passenger than other airlines, because they have more passengers than other airlines. Hence why there’s no legroom. 

5. “Europe’s lowest fares, lowest emissions airline” AKA: “One of the EU’s Top 10 Carbon Emitters”  

6. “The single most important thing any consumer can do to halve their carbon footprint is switch to Ryanair.” Well, *flexes hands*, considering aviation (planes) account for 12% of transport CO2 emissions, while road accounts for 74%, people would be A LOT BETTER walking, cycling, scooting, using public transport, sharing lifts or just driving less. Also bearing in mind that most people drive several times a day, and don’t FLY several times a day, what do you think would make more of a difference?

Image result for deceiving gif"
Oh look, it’s Michael O’Leary.

So, Ryanair were called out and the ads are banned now. BUT, a lot of the damage is done. To the planet, I mean. I haven’t heard those ads in a while, but if I hadn’t have checked the news and saw that they were banned for being not true,  I would’ve kept thinking they were true.

That’s the thing with Greenwashing. It doesn’t matter if the ad’s banned or changed, people will just think that the replacement ads are the latest ad campaign. Some people will always remember the claims that were made, or remember at least, that at some time, Ryanair (or any of the other companies that use people’s concern for the death of the planet and humanity to spread propaganda and increase sales) released ads telling everyone that they were green. 

Image result for greenwashing

Brands spend a hell of a lot of time and money creating advertising campaigns which promote lies, which then get banned and need either changed or replaced, then spend more time and money replacing them and doing PR recovery by making a tiny change like “oh, we’re going to reduce 13% of our plastic use by 2050” (at which stage we’ll be lucky if the Earth is still here). Instead of just, I don’t know, ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY.

So yeah, to sum: Organisations are wrecking the planet and most don’t care. Of the few that actually DO make changes to be more eco-friendly, most are probably lying 🙂 GREAT. 

Happy Wednesday, folks. 

*Here’s my source for the stats, because, well, what I say actually CAN be proven. And isn’t a lie.

Remove Stigma, Not Hair: Why Brands Are Promoting Female Body Hair

Dove launched a campaign which is all about removing the “ideal underarm” beauty standard (aka 100% hair-free and the exact same colour as the rest of your skin). So, in their ad, they showed REAL underarms, that is, non-photoshopped, edited or filtered ones. Some of the models shown had underarm hair. Hold your gasps of horror, fellas. 

Image result for dove ideal underarm campaign

But, it isn’t just Dove promoting female body hair, it’s become a bit of a recent trend. Which, is actually pretty sad considering it’s been a natural ‘trend’ since the beginning of humanity. But sure, better hundreds of years late than never, right?

Razor brand, Billie, showed women with ACTUAL body hair in their ad. AND they even used Billie’s razors to remove hair and show how good it is. This is pretty groundbreaking, because for some reason, brands seem to have an obsession with showing women with scarily reflective and hairless legs pretending to use razors ? The before and after is literally the exact same, not a great way to sell a £10 razor, in my opinion. 

Image result for billie ad

Rather than Gillette Venus‘s standard “you need to shave your legs to be a goddess” message (which is great for the kids), they ran a “my skin, my way” campaign which used models regular people who had scars, stretch marks, tattoos and vitiligo. But, this inclusive “to hell with beauty standards” campaign got a lot of backlash. Partly because people love a good scrap, yes (@ 90% of my blog posts). But, mainly because it showed a woman shaving her arms. As if girls and women don’t have ENOUGH body parts to worry about having to shave to satisfy the patriarchy and society. PLEASE give us more to do. We aren’t pressured enough!!

Image result for venus woman shaving arm

There’s also the Janu-hairy trend which was encouraging women not to shave for the month of January. Which, by the way, is no more “unclean”, “weird” or “disgusting” than ‘Movember’. At least we don’t get food and beer caught in our leg hair. Hmph.

So, why are brands doing this? Because it’s about damn time people got over the fact that WOMEN HAVE HAIR TOO. I mean, how come women get judged for not shaving body hair, but men get judged for shaving body hair?

Image result for thats not fair gif

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for women shaving. I believe that women should shave. IF men have to. Men ‘have’ to shave their faces. IF they want to, but sure, beards are in! Women ‘have’ to shave everywhere below the eyebrows. Either both should have to shave every bit of body hair, or neither should. Fair is fair.

So, I’m pro-male grooming. I am more than happy for men to endure the pressure, pain and price that we have to from the age of about 11 years old. We’re literally children when we’re told by society to hide and remove something which grows naturally on ALL GENDERS. But, nah, boys you can keep it. Tough luck, gals. 

Image result for the patriarchy has spoken gif

We see all over social media how everyone prefers “natural” women, or the “natural look” is in. As long as any hair is either bleached, clipped in or drawn on, of course. Ah, nature. ‘Tis a beautiful thing. 

If you ask women why they shave, they’ll probably say it’s because they think it looks nicer, or because they want to. But, why do we think it looks nicer? Maybe because we’re conditioned and socialised to believe that it looks nicer, and the alternative is ugly, unclean and unnatural. All we see in the media and in the people around us is shaven, hairless people, so of course we assume that’s what people SHOULD look like. 

Image result for shaving gif

We “want to”. Do we really? Or do we want to avoid the disgust, judgement and abuse if we don’t? Ask women if they want to shave, they might say yeah. Ask them if they “want” to perform dangerous shower-acrobatics, suffer the pain of accidentally nicking themselves, wrecking their towels and the hour of bleeding after the cut (because those cuts NEVER seem to heal???), and spending an arm and a leg (literally) for razors, waxing, threading and laser hair removal. If it’s so FUN and wantable (don’t) then why don’t men join us? Why doesn’t everyone want to? 

See, brands aren’t just promoting female body hair, they’re promoting choice and removing stigma. And they’re promoting their products too, like, smashing the patriarchy won’t pay the bills, I guess.

Why We Need "Naked Attraction"

Well, you’ve probably heard of or watched (go on, admit it) the Channel 4 classic, Naked Attraction. What a show.

If you haven’t a notion what I’m on about (or are pretending not to), it’s basically the weirdest dating show ever. Basically, someone single chooses a date based purely on what they look like naked. There’s 6 singles in coloured pods to choose from to start with, and each round sees a different part of their bodies revealed. The dater has to choose to eliminate someone every round until they’re left with 2 daters to choose to take on a date. The 6 people in the pods don’t get to see who’s choosing them until they either get sent home or if they make it to the stage where the faces are revealed.

Yeah, it’s that weird.

PSA: If you’re considering watching it, please don’t watch it with your parents or kids.

Image result for go away mom gif

To be fair, the success rate is pretty bad, like the couples normally end up having a one night stand after the date and never see each other again. Because they ALWAYS choose the one who you can tell by looking at them is a player over the nice, decent person. But O WELL. Serves them right for not listening to me, pfft.

Now, choosing to date someone based purely off looks and their bodies is pretty shallow, so encouraging people to do this isn’t great. But, in the age of online “dating” apps, that’s just how people roll these days. Plus, this show actually does another thing which cancels this superficialness (? – well it’s a word now) out.

You’d expect only the slim, typically “pretty” people to be picked, which they are to be honest (see above). But, they make up maybe 1 or 2 of the 6 singletons. The rest come in every shape, form and size. The thing with Naked Attraction is that it features every age (above 18, just to clarify), gender, race, sexuality and body type. There’s people with loads of hair, no hair, completely covered in tattoos, with no tattoos and medical conditions/ disabilities. So, it’s pretty different to Love Island, as you can imagine.

Image result for love island cast
Ah, diversity at its finest.

We’re so used to seeing the same type of people as models, actresses and influencers. So we normally only see a few body types in the media, clothed, naked or in ridiculously overpriced underwear. But, Naked Attraction shows everything that the media normally doesn’t.

It’s reassuring to people that there are other people out there like them. Similar body types, shapes and features. No two bodies are the same on the show, because no two bodies are the same in real life (less you’re an identical twin, but like WHAT are the chances).

Image result for what are the chances gif

Naked Attraction probably isn’t great to show teenagers, but, it could also be pretty good, too. It could help their self esteem and stop them feeling like they’re weird and answers the “is it meant to look like that?” “Do other people have …?” Just make sure you don’t watch it with them, not a fun time.

It also helps men people see that there is more than one attractive ‘type’ of person. The ‘type’ that we’re so used to seeing constantly online, on TV, in magazines and ads. The ‘type’ that, because we see it so much, we think that it must be normal, because, why else would you see it so much?

Image result for body type diversity

Naked Attraction normalises difference. It shows what a “normal” body and person is. Which is ANYONE AND EVERYONE. There is no “normal” or “standard” for appearances or beauty. So it’s about time advertisers, film makers and the media in general stops acting like there is. As us Belfast ones say, catch yourselves on, like.

So, cheers Channel 4. Keep making your trashy and not-very-successful “dating” show. We need it.

Diary of a Sober Student

Ask someone why they don’t eat or drink anything that they don’t, and the answer “I don’t like it” is a valid one. But, for some reason, “I don’t really like it” or, “I don’t want to” is suddenly COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE and MUST be a lie when it comes to drink.

I’m not a big drinker at all. For a 22 year old, that isn’t really the norm. Especially a student. In final year. It’s not because of religious or medical reasons, it’s because:

  1. I can’t hack it.
  2. I can’t hack hangovers.
  3. I’m just as much of a GEG sober.
  4. I saw something horrible happen to one of my bestmates when she was too drunk to function.
  5. Because I  d o n ‘ t  w a n t  t o , o k a y ?  

But, I shouldn’t need a reason (let alone 5), should I?

Image result for i don't owe you an explanation gif

I wasn’t always like this. I used to drink a lot, like. In first year of uni, we went out a hell of a lot, and I think it just ruined it for myself. Going out like 3/4 nights a week, feeling like complete crap 3/4 days a week and not actually remembering what the hell even happened 3/4  nights a week just got a bit, well, meh.

Now, I hardly drink so I hardly drink. Because I don’t drink that often, when I do, I it hits me really hard (2-pints Murray makes her appearance) and I wake up feeling HORRIBLE no matter what I do. Eat dinner before you go out, drink about 10 litres of water, eat when you get home, take paracetamol and STILL feel like crap in the morning. And, you know what? It’s not worth it. It’s genuinely not. So, because I’m not RUSHING to make this a weekly feeling, I hardly drink. It’s a weird sobriety cycle.

Image result for sober gif
That’s Ms Sober Party Queen to you.

Some people think that not drinking makes you somehow “boring”. Because liver disease, regret, blackouts, hangovers and accidentally “WHOOPS I spent £80” is super exciting, of course. But, surely, you’re life is more boring if you need to be absolutely steamin to make it fun? I’m a geg and my life’s a geg, with or without Magners.

I do drink every now and then, but only when I want to and only when I feel like it. Not for the sake of it, like. I’ll go to nightclubs sober and I’ll dance sober and I’ll have an amazing time. Sober. Downside is, I have to be the ma of the group and look after the people who never seem to learn they CAN’T hack it, but at least it means that at least someone’s looking after them. Someone who isn’t creepy, drunk and predatory, that is.

Image result for protective friend gif
Me.

I get to go to out, dance, sing, actually remember all the words and NAIL that rap song, don’t have to worry about queuing for about an hour for a drink, having my drink spiked (been there, done that, not a fan I must say), spilling my drink or having it knocked out of my hand by that ONE PERSON WHO INSISTS ON WEARING A BACKPACK TO A CLUB. I don’t have to worry about creepy guys trying to take advantage of me (which is a really sad reality for girls) or waking up feeling like pure death.

So, why are you trying to convert me? What is wrong with any of the above? (Apart from the backpack bloon). Why wouldn’t I be happy? (Apart from the backpack bloon).

Related image

Basically: stop peer pressuring people to wreck their livers if they don’t want to. Stop asking “why not?” when people say they’re not drinking. What if they’re pregnant or ill? It’s none of your business.  Stop judging people, buying them drinks, making them uncomfortable, calling them ‘boring’, or asking them if they’re drinking even when you know that they aren’t.

Rant over. Cheers.

Image result for cheers gif

Celebrity Goss: What's the Obsession?

Okay so, this morning I went on Buzzfeed (the credible news source that it is), to see what all was going on in the world, and to see if I’d missed anything. But all I saw in the “News” section was celebrity goss and drama. I mean, it’s a lot lighter than all the absolute madness going on in the world at the minute, but like, “breaking news”? Really¿

Image result for celebrity news headlines
Basically.

But, the thing is, that is “news” to a lot of people. For some reason, people are obsessed with celebrity gossip. They know who’s going out with who, who cheated on who with who, who’s beefing with who. But like, what’s the point? Why do people care?

“Omg did you hear she’s pregnant?” No. And to be honest, I don’t really care. I don’t really need to know who’s married or divorced or expecting. I’d rather focus on my own mess of a life and people who actually know me and care about my mess of a life’s lives. But sure, called me old-fashioned !!

One of the stories was “this is why [celebrity who I can’t remember or don’t really know]  fans have been commenting snake emojis under [other celeb that I can’t remember or also don’t know]’s Instagram photos.

I FOUND IT. And I have heard of one of them. Go me.

And this happens all the time. Celebrity fans comment threats, insults, abuse, and the most severe form: emojis, under other celebrities’ photos on social media when there’s beef. I’m all for showing solidarity and having your friends’ backs, but like, friends’ backs.

One thing I hate (maybe the only thing, I’m not easily annoyed, as you know) is when girls insult, slabber about and threaten other girls on social media over some wee lad. Especially when the “girls” in question are like 30. And when the “wee lad” is Justin Bieber or someone from One Direction, or whoever else is like trending. Yes, I’m well aware that I sound like a middle-aged woman right now but my mind has gone BLANK and I literally can’t think of popular celebrities. Scundered.

Moving on.   

Image result for im a cool mom gif
Me right now

Point is (yeah, there is one), you wouldn’t want TeenQween2003 calling you fat, ugly or threatening to “hurt” you (even though she’s like a literal 12 year-old from Philadelphia and is never actually going to see you, let alone square up to you for a scrap)  under your selfie because unfollowed someone. Or started dating someone who GOD FORBID had an ex.

You (I hope) wouldn’t comment death threats under a stranger’s photo because they broke up their boyfriend and now he’s sad (😞).So why are people commenting death threats under a stranger’s photo because they broke up their boyfriend and now he’s sad (😞), just because both parties are famous? Like, why do you care? And why did you spell Queen with a ‘w’? WHY.

Image result for celebrity gossip gif
Well, there you go. That answers my question.

I don’t know, I’ve just never really got the whole “spending time and money to stay in the loop of celebrities’ business” thing.  To be fair, I don’t follow celebs on Instagram or Twitter (still don’t have it oops) and I don’t watch celebrity shows like Keeping Up With The Kardashians (I don’t even know if they still make it) or buy those weird £1 “OMG!” magazines.  So maybe that’s why I don’t get it. Or maybe I have enough of my own STRESS AND PROBLEMS to worry about to be so involved in strangers’?? Could be it, too.

I also don’t see how trolling people online is really making a difference. I doubt Justin Bieber’s (yes, that example again) gonna be like, “Omg, Caitlin from Crumlin just commented under my ex’s photo. Maybe I should slide in her DMs and ask her to marry me?!”

Like, what are people trying to achieve apart from having the their account blocked? How much better are they than whichever celeb “did something wrong” (usually didn’t invite someone to their birthday party or side-eyed their dress at an award show) when you’re commenting knife emojis under their photo?

Answer: Not much. And a lil bit sadder, too. And a LOT less rich. Please go outside. Find a hobbie. Befriend a cat. Anything. Please.

Image result for get a hobby gif

Note: If there is someone with the username TeenQween2003, I apologise for using you as an example. I tried to think of a ridiculous teen-girl name so had ‘TeenQween99’ and then realised that you’d actually be 21 years old, got sad that I’m old and changed it. 😞

What's the Beef with Vegan Options?

Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock (wouldn’t blame you, the world’s a scary place), you probably know that so far, 2020 has been a pretty big year for veganism. And it’s only been like a week.

Image result for veganuary
I’m a sucker for a good pun.

Greggs launched their vegan ‘steak bake’ (which people actually queued for, get a life like), KFC have added a vegan burger to their menu, and Boojum have announced a new meat-free filling with promises of more plant-based alternatives to come. Costa have also announced that their coconut, almond and soya milk options are now free of charge. Yepa. Subway and McDonald’s have also added vegan-friendly items to their menus. Maybe Burger King have too, I don’t know and can’t be bothered Googling it, to be honest.

These vegan additions have for obvious reasons, got a lot of praise, good publicity and were welcomed by most people.

Most people.

Basically, as well as all the support and positive messages for these companies and what they’re doing, some people aren’t too happy. Wouldn’t be like them!!

Anyway, one of the big criticisms was that vegan and meat-free products only ever seem to have meat types or connotations in the name. I.E – Vegan sausage roll. Vegan Steak Bake. Quorn nuggets etcetc.

To be fair, I think this is a valid point. I never really got the whole ‘fake meat’ thing, because, surely, the whole point is to not eat meat? Like if you don’t support or like the meat industry, why eat things that are designed to taste and look identical to meat? I don’t know, I just never got the whole Quorn thing, I guess.

But yeah, people were calling out Greggs and the likes for supposedly ‘catering for vegans’ by launching products which typically go against the whole principle of being vegan. Fair enough, like. Why launch fake steak bakes instead of nice sweet potato or lentil pastries instead? What if people don’t like or want to support meat in any way?

Another pointed-out issue was that if vegans were to buy products from these brands, they’re supporting the meat industry by giving money to companies who use a hell of a lot of meat. So like, if you buy from them and give them money, then they’ll get bigger, grow, open new outlets and then use more meat, so more animals will die. 

Which is also pretty fair when you think about it. Their point is, why not give your money to businesses whose policies and practices reflect veganism, rather than just sell a soya sausage roll or fake chicken burger? We’ve all seen those HORRIFYING videos about KFC and McDonald’s *shudders*.

NASTY

But, what if these meat-free additions aren’t just for vegans? Imagine that?! What if they’re for regular meat-eaters who simply want to cut down on their intake, too? What if these “steak bakes” (better name would be ‘fake bake’ but SURE) were targeted at people who eat  steak bakes? Ground-breaking, I know.

Obviously, the whole “why only make vegan options that resemble meat instead of actual vegan options?” and the “supporting companies that use an excessive amount of meat” things are valid points. As I so very well demonstrated, don’t ya think?

But, companies shouldn’t be getting grief for adding meatless alternatives to their menu. At least they’re making some difference and giving people a choice. Vegan sausage rolls are likely aimed at people who actually LIKE sausage rolls (aka: weirdos); it’s not to try to convert everyone to start eating them because they’ve got soya in them.

If you don’t like the meat version and eat them on a regular basis, chances are, you won’t like the vegan one either. Because they are literally designed to taste the same. Do you see the point here?

These companies that use A LOT of meat, are producing more products that are meat-free, so the companies are in theory using less meat. So, isn’t that a good thing? The whole “vegan” label puts people off actually eating less or no meat/dairy. This way, people aren’t too committed and can enjoy the stodgy food even more knowing that animals weren’t harmed in the making of it. Commitment-phobes, REJOICE.

Anyway, that’s this week’s rant over. Moral of the story: ADD MORE SWEET POTATO AND LENTIL OPTIONS, THANKU BYE.