Things I’ve Learned in Lockdown

Well, here we are. Week 2 of lockdown. I think. To be honest, I’m not even sure what day it is anymore because literally every day is a Sunday now and time is a social construct (which I’ve always believed but now it’s a lot easier to convince other people that I’m right).

As always, I’m avoiding the news because it’s full of negativity and bad vibes which is not something a final year needs any more of right now (shoutout to my uni for still giving us an exam). So, since it’s officially “Easter Week”, I thought I’d have a wee reflective moment and think about all the things I’ve learned in my self-isolation. Because I write as I think I really have no idea how this gonna go or if I’m even gonna have more than 3 things but LET’S SEE.

Learning GIFs | Tenor

Things I’ve Learned (in no particular order apart from the one that I think of them in):

1. That contrary to popular belief, I can in fact, apparently still function without having three cappuccinos a day.

Who’d have thought?

Two really strong filter coffees seems to do the trick.

2. That Boris Johnson’s real name is Alexander Boris De Pfeffer Johnson.



What's the Difference Between Yams and Sweet Potatoes? | Kitchn
“(Or is it?)” the SUSPENSE.

3. The difference between a ‘yam’ and a sweet potato.

I was watching a TV show and yams were mentioned and I’ve always wondered American’s were on about and had nothing else to do so just Googled it.  Spoiler alert: it’s just a massive sweet potato.

Well, SINCE YOU ASKED. A yam is actually an Asian/ African root vegetable which is different to a sweet potato but the things that Americans call ‘yams’ are actually just big sweet potatoes (shoutout to their genetic modification game). A bit like the way they say ‘zucchini’ and ‘eggplant’. Bloons.

4. That my desire to avoid doing workouts is actually stronger than my desire to avoid doing uni work.

My excuses have got a lot more creative, since I can’t use “I don’t have time” or “I’m too busy”. My new favourites are: “I’m wearing jeans today and you can’t exercise in jeans so I’ll do it a day I’m wearing leggings” and, “I’ve just had a shower I can’t do exercise now, what’s the point?”

I So Pale GIFs | Tenor

5. My natural skin colour.

Because I’m doing a tan detox (like what’s the point when you wash your hands like 98 times a day and no one will actually see it apart from the police in the park and I really doubt they care that my neck is a lovely bronze colour and my ankles look REALLY nice in those mom jeans), I’ve actually seen my natural skin colour for the first time in God knows how long. Have I always been this pale?? How am I pale but still red ? Weird.

6. Just how much shopping I can physically carry without keeling over.

Since I can’t do my usual “go to Tesco three times a week just for a dander”, I’ve to do a weekly shop which means buying about 8 kilograms of stuff and then having to lug it back home on a fun-filled 20 minute walk of sheer PAIN. I think like 8 kilos is my max, to be honest. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot when people can literally squat with like 100kg weights but I’m 5 ft 3 and struggle to open heavy doors so ‘upper body strength’ isn’t something I’ve got a lot of, okay?

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7. That I don’t actually hate phone calls as much as I thought I did.

Never thought I’d see the day when I actually didn’t mind being rang and ANSWERED phone calls instead of just staring at my phone begging it to stop ringing, then send a “Sorry I missed your call! What’s up?” text 8 minutes later. Still not desperate enough to answer the PPI ones, though.

8. The tune of my neighbours’ electricity machine.

Because most people have moved home, no one’s in their student houses to top up the electricity. So, instead of having to constantly listen to my neighbours and their crap taste in music, I’m treated to the beautiful native song of the electricity machines which they sing in the hopes of getting money.  One beep. One beep. Three beeps. FIVE BEEPS. One beep. Two beeps. One beep. SEVEN BEEPS.  (Repeat for 4 days straight until they sadly give up, at which point another neighbours’ machine will take over).

It’s quite beautiful, really.

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9. That 15 year-old me was right and that Lil Wayne actually is the best thing to happen to the world (apart from me).

Since I don’t have Spotify premium or anything (because literally what’s the point), when I’m out for my PRECIOUS daily dander, all I have to listen to is the music on my phone which hasn’t been updated since like 4 phones ago. I could download new stuff but youtube-mp3 converter is a while lot of effort. So, most of what I’ve got to listen to is Lil Wayne and Young Thug, to be honest. And you know what? Still love ‘em. Trashy, tacky but oh so BEAUTIFUL.

10. How many bricks are on my neighbours’ extension.

Since my main viewpoint is my window which I like to stare out of for 9 hours a day and pretend I’m outside, I’ve passed the time by counting bricks.

Only messin, I’m not THAT sad or desperate. Yet.

But it’s actually not a bad idea and I’ll probably have a real answer for you by next week.

So, there you go. The RIVETING and LIFE-CHANGING things I’ve learned in my two weeks of isolation. Not much to show for it, I suppose but hey, it’s better than nothing.


Reasons I’m Excited to Go Back to Uni

Well, here I am. 9 months into placement. I could’ve had a BABY in that time, like a literal human. Isn’t that scary? Anyway, people always ask me if I’m looking forward to going back to uni next year, so here’s a lil list for you of why I kinda am:

*This is in no particular order, but this first one is the main reason

Clements in Jordanstown:
Low and behold, there is now a Clements in my uni campus. Rejoice and be glad. I reckon UUJ did it on purpose to lure us all back, I’m telling you now the attendance is going to go right up. Pre-lecture coffee date? Post-lecture coffee date? Instead-of-lecture coffee date? Thankin you.

The uni bubble:
Uni is this magical place where the real world doesn’t exist. Adulthood isn’t really a thing until you’re 40, your biggest responsibility is topping up the gas, and the ‘future’ is nothing more than a cheat liar rapper. When you’re in uni, nothing else matters. You get to forget about actually having to figure out what you want to do in life. You can postpone making actual life decisions for a whole other year. How fabulous.

Seeing friends:
I miss seeing my wee group of friends every day (well, three days a week but still). At the minute we’re all spread around the place (shoutout to Rachel for ditching to ENGLAND – and not consulting us first??). I can’t wait to see their lil faces and have a geg with them in the comfy purple seats on campus. And I’m sure they feel the exact same way about me. Deffo do.

Writing notes:
I’m one of those sad people that LOVES pens. My wee 4 coloured bic pen (the pink and green one, not the normal boring one) hasn’t been used all year and I can’t WAIT to do nice pretty coloured writing on notes I’ll keep forever and probably never read 🙂

My uni is actually really good about emailing us out relevant opportunities, like volunteering, different programmes and talks by industry professionals. Yeah, placement is a great way to get work and actually acting-like-an-adult experience, but there’s loads of things like the PANI programme and societies that you can’t actually do once you go out in the scary real world. It’s a good way to build up your CV before you graduate and compete with 8000 other people with similar degrees and work experience. Can’t wait.

Lunch dates:
As I’ve mentioned in several posts, ya girl misses going for lunch. It really makes you feel like a lady of leisure, wee post lecture lunch date before you all split off and pretend to do seminar work. I know fine rightly the people at West are concerned and miss me dearly. So it’s not just for my sake that I want to go out for lunch, think of the economy. Think of it.

Actually learning stuff:
Call me sad (please don’t, I’m fragile) but I actually like feeling like I’ve learnt something, you know that lil “a-ha” moment when you feel all smart because you learnt a long word or can show off to your ma when you’re home?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so much a fan of reading textbooks, journal articles, but learning from those wee powerpoints and “relevant” videos in class? Oof.

Obviously, I know from the past 2 years and siblings who’ve gone through final year that uni isn’t a holiday. So there are of course reasons I’m scared to go back -besides graduating and having to leave uni, although I could always do a master’s to postpone being a grown up…

Reasons I’m not excited to go back to uni:
1. Dissertation
2. Finals
3. Twenty grand of debt

But oh well, that’s September’s problem.