Cavemen Vs Robots – Who Would Win?

Now that, I would pay to see.

Sorry to disappoint but this isn’t a poll about some weird edition of “Robot Wars” or MMA fighting.  I’m simply asking if humans today are any smarter than our predecessors. Okay don’t pull that face at me, buster. Hear a gal out first, sheesh.

You really can find anything on Google Images

We’ve all seen and heard comparisons of those considered less intelligent to cavemen. Humans today are considered to be smarter, more educated and superior in general to our ancestors. Yes, we do know things that they didn’t, like that the Earth isn’t flat (although the jury’s still out on that one, Youtube conspiracy theories are very convincing); and we’ve made massive advancements in regards to medicine and technology. But, could we build the Roman Colloseum? Or the pyramids?

Hmm, maybe. But could we do it without modern equipment or machinery? Yeah, thought not.

Our predessors knew how to do things. We know how to use technology to do things for us. Nowadays, people aren’t even bothering to stand up and turn off their lights, they need ‘Alexa’ to do it for them. Why do things yourself when you can have a creepy machine do it for you, while giving it access to control your electricity? How fun.


Anyway, my point is, early humans and ‘cavemen’ were able to live self-sustainably. They found their own food, hunted animals, made their own clothes (not as nice as Missguided’s but they did the best they could) and built houses with their bare hands. They were able to do so much more with so much less. And they were able to survive without depending on technology and the internet.

They didn’t have Google *gasps* to figure out the answer to everything (or to tell them that headache might actually be sign that they’re dying), so they worked things out for themselves. Instead of Googling if a berry was poisonous, they just waited until someone else ate it and died, then added it to the “avoid” list; or gave it to their neighbours’ really annoying Dodo -or whatever they kept as pets, idk. They knew what they knew because they learned things. We know a lot of what we know because we’re told things. And because we learned from their mistakes. Shout out to the guy who wanted a pet shark.


Nowadays, people laugh at the “stupidity” of our ancestors. Like how they thought ice cube lobotamies could cure depression or that babies didn’t feel pain. But how do we know they were wrong? Because we checked the internet? Got a machine to do it differently? Waited until someone’s baby cried when they dropped it and thought “Oh. Maybe it does feel things? Hmm, noted.” I admit, they weren’t the best examples to prove my case but to be fair remember when everyone thought the world was going to end in 2000? And then again -oh but FOR REAL this time- in 2012? I mean come on we even made a (terrible) film about it. Nobody’s perfect.

Now I’m not saying that those that came before us were smarter than us, I’m just saying that I don’t think it’s fair to say that we’re smarter than them. Maybe they didn’t know that pi was 3.14 and then a BAZILLION other numbers, but they didn’t need to. People used to learn and know the things that they needed to know, like “what berries are poisonous?”, “will that lion try to eat me if I pet it?”, “what happens if you stand in the fire?” – all valid questions, sort of. Modern humans just seem to know stuff purely for the sake of knowing it. I know so much irrelevant information that I’ll probably never use or get to say unless I’m at a pub quiz or in an uncomfortable silence on a date. Did you know a group of pandas is called an ’embarrassment’? I did. Why? I have NO IDEA.


We do know a hell of a lot, and we are pretty ‘smart’, but I think earlier humans deserve a bit more credit. They discovered that other continents existed, knew the time without clocks and were able to preserve people who had died (a bit creepy in my opinion, but still, kudos to them). They discovered the most random things like how to procreate, give birth and then feed the child breastmilk. Like how did they even go about finding this stuff out? How did they even come about milking cows? Like they must have been really bored. And a bit weird.

Well, there you go. There’s some food for thought the next time you buy a bottle of milk. Or see a fire and choose not to stand in it. You can now return to your life of letting your creepy robot control your home. Tell the government I said hi.


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